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3 Things You Should Know about Men’s Experiences of Domestic Abuse

Blog Post Men 1
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We all know that domestic violence and abuse is a huge problem in our society, but do many of us understand how this issue affects men?  

It can be hard to find reliable information about the topic, so Equation’s experts from our Domestic Abuse Service for Men have listed the key points you need to know.  

 

1) Men experience domestic abuse

“Domestic abuse” is behaviour that someone uses in a relationship to deliberately dominate, threaten, coerce and control someone else. Any person can be a victim of this kind of behaviour whether they are a man, woman or another gender identity. 

Men can experience domestic abuse from a partner or a former partner in heterosexual or same-sex relationships. Men can also be abused by family members: adult children, siblings or others. Family abuse against men includes so-called ‘honour’-based abuse, such as forced marriage. 

Domestic abuse against men is perpetrated by both men and women, as well as people of other gender identities.  

Domestic abuse is often discussed as a women’s issue, because the majority of domestic abuse is experienced by women (and perpetrated by men). However, domestic abuse also happens to lots of men. 

 

2) Domestic abuse against men is not only about violence

Domestic abuse against men can include physical violence, as well as emotional and psychological bullying, sexual violence or financial control and abuse. 

A man who is being abused may experience some or all of the following behaviours: 

  • Bullying: mocking, humiliation, insults, criticism 
  • Control: Being checked up on, followed, or stalked 
  • Threats: intimidation, attacks or violence 
  • Destruction of their possessions 
  • Isolation: being stopped from seeing family and friends 
  • Being forced into sex  
  • Having money taken or controlled 
  • Lying, blame and denial of the abuse 

 

3) It’s okay for men to ask for help

Men who experience domestic violence and abuse are not to blame, no matter what the perpetrator of the abuse may say. Men who are being abused may feel ashamed or afraid of judgment by others, but it does not make a man ‘weak’ or less ‘manly’ if they experience abuse. Domestic abuse is always a choice by the perpetrator. 

Men who experience domestic abuse are not alone and it is always okay to ask for help. 

Equation’s Domestic Abuse Service for Men offers free support from a friendly advisor. The service can advise men about their safety and legal options and offer signposting to other services including drugs and alcohol support, housing and counselling. 

“I was able to take back control of my life having received support from Equation.  I feel more independent and for once in a very long time I feel more in control. Talking to you gave me a safe space”  

  

Do you need help or advice?

Equation’s service in Nottingham/shire offers free support for men experiencing domestic abuse 

Call 0115 960 5556 to talk in confidence.  

The helpline is staffed on Monday to Friday from 9.30-4.30. A 24/7 confidential answerphone service is available outside these times.   

Heterosexual and GBT+ men are welcome to call. 

  

Men outside Nottingham/shire can call: 

Men’s Advice Line 0808 801 0327  

Galop’s National LGBT+ helpline 0800 999 5428. 
 

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